Who Do You Think You Are, Garfield?

A cat lives in my hostel. It must have been pretty cute as a kitten, that could be the only reason why it was named ‘Oreo’ but if you ask me hell has seen no sinister fiend than him. To be honest, I don’t know it’s a he or she. But he is too much of a pain in the ass to be ‘her’. But from now on I will refer to it as ‘it’ so as not to offend any gender.

The most annoying thing about the cat is that it behaves like a human. I blame its parents. I guess they never had any time for it and left it alone at home and let it read all the Garfield comics to keep it entertained. It lives under the delusion that cats can talk and can actually throw sarcastic and witty comments at human. Each time I kick or even pretend to kick it, it looks at me and makes sounds that almost sound like ‘aw Common mein! Whaddid I do to ya?’ I know it would have preferred to be born as a human. But it should have, by now, come in terms with its status in this world.

It’s the only cat (I feel, in this whole wide world) with no navigation sense at all, not to mention, self-respect. No matter how many times I throw water at it, hurl everything that is at my hand at that time, abuse it in a language fitted for only truck drivers, it keeps coming back to my room. I threw it from third floor, twice (I would have loved to do it from a little higher but my room is on third floor). Showing middle finger to every theory that says ‘cats always land on their feet’, it landed on its back, twice. I stared at it with disbelief, twice. To be honest, felt a little cheated. Is it out to prove that everything I know about cats is wrong? Next thing it’s gonna do is to tell me that it doesn’t have nine lives either.

Listen Oreo, Johnny Cash already sang it but let me remind you again... ' Sooner of later, God will cut you down!'  So stop pretending that you have forgotten that you are just a feline creature and stop acting too cool. I promise if curiosity doesn’t, I will definitely kill you.

But I know he thinks all of these are empty threats. I can swear he is smirking reading this while sipping warm milk with a satisfied ‘meow’.