How to Ensure Zero Social Life

For Men:

1.       Declare yourself “Homophobisexual” (Sexually attracted to homophobes).

2.       Sing ‘Big Girls Don't Cry’ imitating Frankie Valli’s voice.

3.       Reply every question with "And Your Mom."

4.       Ask everyone if they are pregnant (Yes, men too).

5.       Repeat it at least six times in a conversation.

"You know what..."

"What?"

"Never mind."

6.       Wear 'Being Human' T-shirt in all available colors.

7.       Tell people you get aroused watching ‘Sex and the City’.

8.       Shout ‘size?’ to strangers.

9.       Grow a bushy moustache, get an ‘extremely neat’ hair cut and wear thick black-rimmed glasses (In short, the paedophile look).

10.   Carry notebooks to restaurants and scribble every time people on the other table say something.

For Women:

      
      1.  Be intelligent, independent and self-sufficient (and             don’t wear make-up).